Funny status messages for Facebook, Discord and WhatsApp

[Admin]

So we decided to gather a lot of funny status messages for Facebook, discord, WhatsApp and more. Oh you are going to love them. REad on.
How easy is it to scare your man. Simple, ask him what day it is.

It is a sad thing that all my jokes about unemployed people do not work.
Your biggest worry should not be on what I am doing but on why you are worried about what I am doing.
I know how best to punish people who are talking behind your back, fart.
You may go far away; I just hope you get to stay there.
I believe my girlfriend was complaining last night that I do not listen to her, or at least she said something close to that.

Funny how children make accidents in darkness but accidents in the dark make children.
When you smell like hidden motives, the best you can do is get away from me.
You just do not know how lucky you are that I am terrified of prison.
Please give me your picture so I can tell Santa what I want for Christmas.
I remember how my wife and I were happy 20 years ago

 

[Admin]

And here is more sample of funny statuses you can use on your social media


I had never felt the urge to slap someone so bad than I did this Monday morning when some told me good morning.
Girls, if he only wants your legs, breasts, and thighs. Send him to KFC.
Do you know what I hate? People who answer their own questions. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful.
Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Time to train for my favourite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong.
I do not have a girlfriend, but I know a girl that would get mad if she heard me say that.
I have three kids and no money.

Why can I not have no kids and three money?

 

[Admin]

For the Facebook heads, here are some statuses that you can use and it will get your Facebook friends going wild.


A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful.
Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity.
Lucky for you, mirrors are unable to laugh out loud The love for my bed is unique; I would rather be in mine than in yours.
You have to show up to be late; it does not work any other way.
Nothing hurts more than when you decide to unfriend someone and find they have beaten you to it.

What did one snowman say to the other one? Do you smell carrots? Happy holidays.

Keep calm and know Google can help you find a way to fix almost every problem.

If not, it will tell you who can fix it. I tried being normal once— the most boring hour of my life.

 

[Admin]

For Whatsapp



Remember lady’s, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.

Friends are like boobs: some are real, some are fake.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Why didn't you reply to my text? Well, how am I supposed to reply to LOL?

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

I am currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Today I have the motivation of a potato. Do not hold your breath for a response.

I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. I do not think my iPhone is working.

I pressed the home button, but I’m still here. I deserve a medal every day I do not stab someone with a fork. If you cannot say something nice, come sit by me

 

[keilecpod]

I remember that once my school teacher posted accidentally a dark humor meme, that was hilarious

 

[LagosPolice]

There are lot of funny discord status and people don't even know about them lol.