Nsmnews Funny Jokes And Riddles Thread

[Admin]

- Nollywood will not kill me o, NEPA poles inside evil forest?! Maybe the spirits are charging their phones.

- That moment when you're losing in a fight and someone starts shouting: "Leave them, let them fight! My brother, it's either you become The Incredible Hulk or Usain Bolt.

- MTN are now mean to the extent that when you're not having Airtime or data on your line, they'll start deducting from your battery bars.

- Somto was involved in a car crash and was crying, "Oh God! I've lost my hand. Akpors said "Don't behave like a girl, look at that man that lost his head, Is he crying?!"

 

[Admin]

- One of my white friends asked me why Nigerians always go back to check if their car is actually locked even after hearing the lock sound, I told him Nigerians like to be sure of everything because our village people might have played the lock tune in our ear

- My brother stole my phone and sent a breakup message to my girlfriend. I thought of how to punish him so I stole his phone too, changed my name to JOB UPDATE and sent a message that there's job vacancy somewhere. Presently he's on his way from Zuba to Zamfara state

- The other day when SWEDEN and DENMARK played match, the names displayed on the screen were SWE - DEN while the unused names were DEN and MARK. They formed their countries name back... Sense will not kill me...
- Sister, If your boyfriend is cheating on you, cry no more. Steal his phone oneday, copy the other girl's number, call her and act like you're his sister. Then thank her for encouraging him to take his HIV drugs regularly... Wisdom will not kill Banky oneday...

 

[Admin]

- You know, It's risky to sleep without money in your pocket. If you enter a taxi in your dream, how will you pay?

- I wonder how Methuselah survived 969 years without an android phone and power bank!!! Sha men of those days are very powerful

-One day, an elephant was walking in a park, he squished many ants with every step he took.
Other angry ants decided to revenge. They climbed his legs and then got to his body. The elephant was not comfortable, so he shook his body thoroughly and all the ants fell except one that hung close to the elephant's neck. The angry ants on the floor began to shout:-
Strangle him! Strangle him!

 

[Admin]

- I don't know if it's a crime to eat full corn in Nigeria, when you just buy corn, someone just appears from nowhere and break it into two
- Guys and their indirect insults ehh, what's the meaning of "as I see this trouser I just know say na you"

- Any girl reading this post will get pregnant before the end of this month, and if you try to argue, you'll have twins
- A male has 53 liters of sperm in their system but some guys reading this post have 3 liters left and are not yet married!...
- All of you that told your mum, "when I grow up, I will buy an airplane for you" I just want to remind you that you've grown up...
- You tell your friends you're broke and they're like "you're looking fresh na", So because I'm broke I should not baff again
- Men can be weird at times: If a guy posts a funny post, they just type "hehe" but when a lady posts, even when they don't understand the joke, they will type "Hahahahaha, lol, Dead & Cremated, you made my day.